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Nothing I can put my finger on (or in), but we talk less and sex is now as infrequent as a good Star Wars movie. (I warn you before you waste a lot of time reading, searching for torrid sex.) In an effort to reverse this depressing trend, I planned this romantic getaway to scenic "Camp Dysentery" in upstate Ohio.We didn't speak much during the drive, which was fortunate since I didn't have to reveal the cabin we rented was, allegedly, haunted. Big deal! So what? I mean, who you gonna call?Arriving at our destination, we were greeted by the spitting image of Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel from "The Simpson's." Hello, gals. I'm Ferlin Adams. Welcome to 'Camp Dysentery', although we ARE thinking of changing the name," he rambled."To what?" I asked."One of the gals in the office had a weird suggestion, 'Camp Cunnilingus.' She said it rolls off the tongue."Amid giggles, Katrina informed the hillbilly, we planned on doing some serious tongue rolling ourselves in the very near future. He. Confounded, I sat with my arms clamped over my chest, my legs clamped together, staring at the window. Ahead of me, Agnes remained where I had left her in her seat. Although I paid no attention to her at all, I could tell without looking that she was really shaken up, possibly even crying. Peripherally, I could see her hunched over, looking at the floor.Why had she showed me the laptop? Why had she led me to the emails? Was she crazy? What was she thinking? How could she possibly think that I was interested in her? I wanted to jump up and scream Lezzie! Freak! Dyke! Go get your pussy somewhere else!Then why the hell did you do touch her hair, I wondered?The question, unbidden and coming out of nowhere, rocked me back in my seat.What, I demanded, almost aloud.You touched her hair, tucked it behind her ears. What the hell did you think would happen?I didn't do that, I objected.The hell you didn't! You led her on, and then freaked out when she responded to your advances.I sat bolt.
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